This Could End Badly
by figliedellatempesta
Summary: It was when Steven realised he had read the same sentence five times that he realised something was amiss... Hoennchampionshipping  StevenxMay  - silliness and perversion abounds.  Oh, and never ask Wallace for relationship advice!
1. Chapter 1

Yes, another Hoennchampionshipping fic. Equally silly - do not have high expectations from it, if you want a serious read or proper romance, go elsewhere.

Warnings - MayxSteven (Hoennchampionshipping) and onesided Originshipping (StevenxWallace) - slight swearing and inappropriateness from a certain blue-haired gym leader.

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><p>It was when Steven read the same sentence of the newspaper article he was trying to read for the fifth time, that he realised something was amiss. His concentration wasn't what it normally was. The Champion frowned, put his newspaper down on the desk in front of him for a moment and glanced out the window. It was a pleasant, sunny day, and he could see bird pokemon fluttering amongst the grasses in the front garden of the Hoenn League building, his mug of coffee was on the desk next to him as usual, the day was completely free of tiresome meetings with officials, or other League business – what could be wrong?<p>

He was a little stressed out, certainly: there had been a lot of challengers to deal with over the past few days, not to mention meetings, briefings, discussions with the other Elites over changes to their schedules, and training. Oh yes, training. Perhaps, that had something to do with it. Steven had recently taken on the seemingly innocuous task of training the young hopeful, May Maple. She was a nice girl, he had reasoned with himself; she would blossom into a very powerful trainer with a little nudge in the right direction. And he would be the one to give her such a nudge. Yes, what a good idea; what could possibly go wrong?

Well, precisely one thing could go wrong, and that was May Maple herself. Steven had always liked her: she was a good trainer, enthusiastic, keen to learn, with a strong moral compass and sense of justice and fairness. And pretty. He hadn't really taken that into account when he agreed to work this closely with the 16 year old May. From the moment she had come in for a sparring session around a week ago wearing a very short skirt which more than adequately showed off her shapely legs and pert bum, Steven had begun to regret his hasty decision.

Not that it was wrong for him to appreciate May's form per se; it just didn't seem to be quite appropriate given the 10 year age gap and his relative position of authority over her. She was 16 and presumably more than capable of looking after herself, but nonetheless Steven did think it was best if he continued to think of her as a protégé rather than a potential sexual conquest. That said, when was the last time Steven had had a sexual conquest? Not that it was at the top of his list of priorities - of course not! It most certainly came below his position as League Champion, his responsibilities at the League, his ever-present worries about teams Magma and Aqua, his pokemon training and his side-interest in geology. That said, no amount of training and responsibility cancelled out the fact that Steven was a man, and a young, healthy and virile one, at that! And nothing could change the fact that, although attractive, Steven had not yet managed to find the right woman for him, and it had been years since he had been in a lasting relationship.

That Steven had to deal with an irritatingly persistent sex-drive on top of all his other responsibilities just didn't seem fair. Still, he had fully resolved to put all inappropriate thoughts about May out of his mind and concentrate on his work. Just so long as she'd wear a longer skirt or some trousers the next time he saw her, there'd be no problem at all.

Now, I don't know if you know May Maple very well at all, but if you did, you'd know this was never going to be the case. In fact, May only owned one pair of jeans, which she saved for rainy days and cold weather only. For her training session the next day, she was clad in her usual attire of red mini skirt and white blouse, which didn't quite do its job covering her red bra.

"May," Steven greeted her in a polite and friendly manner.

"Oh hi Steven," she replied cheerily, "nice day isn't it! I've brought along my squirtle, like you said! I think we can really work on some of his water-based attacks. I fought Drew the other day and I think I've had some good ideas about how to improve…"

Steven shook his head sharply, trying to stop wondering whether May's panties matched her red bra, and start focussing on the matter at hand.

"Is something wrong?" she asked, tilting her head to one side.

"No, of course not. I was just thinking about how best to organise our training for today."

They commenced a fairly standard practice session. May was good, but Steven had to make sure to use his weakest pokemon and hold back as much as possible so as to give her a chance. May's brow furrowed a little with concentration as she thought about what moves to use next. It was a warm day and her blouse was beginning to become slightly damp with sweat. Steven had to keep averting his eyes and trying to look at anything else in the room that wasn't the way her top clung to her breasts, which in his opinion were rather large for a girl her age. Not that he was thinking about that. _Focus, Steven, focus. _

He wrapped up the training session without much hesitation. May seemed a little downcast when he suggested she leave straight afterwards, as they were after all friends, but he made some excuses about work and she soon left.

Everything was fine, Steven told himself. It was perfectly normal for a man to look at an attractive girl like May, and there was certainly nothing to be ashamed about. Everything was fine. Or, everything was fine until about 3am that night, when Steven awoke drenched with sweat and panting, trying to push the remnants of a rather x-rated dream about May from his mind. He groaned as he lay back on his crumpled pillow, pushing his tousled silver-grey hair back from his forehead. _I'm not a pervert, _he told himself, _not a pervert. _Nonetheless, if he was having dreams about her dressed in black lacy lingerie bent over his desk, he was probably going to have to call time on their one-on-one training schedule. _Damn it._

After a very poor night's sleep, at 11 in the morning Steven was sitting at his desk, drumming his fingers on the desk in agitation and trying to get up the courage to pick up the phone. _Just do it, you idiot. You're the Hoenn Pokemon League Champion, you can't be scared to call a girl. _He coughed nervously, picked up the phone and dialled May's number.

"Hello? You've reached May Maple, pokemon coordinator, can I help you?"

Steven opened his mouth. No sound came out. He closed it and tried again, "err, May… hi, it's Steven."

"Oh hi Steven," May squealed in typically enthusiastic fashion. "What's up?"

Steven coughed. "I, er, I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh right, what's that?"

"Right. Look, May, I think perhaps we should stop doing training together."

"Oh!" May squealed a little more loudly than was necessary on the other end of the phone. Steven hesitated a moment; it wasn't quite the reaction he'd expected.

"I… I'm sorry May, it's just that… business…." He babbled lamely, cursing his own ineloquence.

"Oh sorry, what was that Steven? I just spilled cold water all down the front of my dress. I'm going to have to get changed, but just carry on."

A faint, uncharacteristic pinkness made its way into Steven's cheeks. "Oh no, May. I'll call back another time."

"No, no. It's no problem Steven, I just need to find a clean top…"

Presumably, May was now walking around her flat topless looking for a new shirt. Steven tried not to think about it.

"Er, as I was saying, I don't think we should train together anymore."

"Oh, really?" May sounded downcast. "But why?"

"Well things are getting very busy at the League… you know…"

"Yeah, I guess… But Steven, I could give you a helping hand. You know, I know you've been stressed lately, I can tell, but I'm sure I could help you with that."

_Errr… maybe, but probably not in the way you think, _Steven thought, uncomfortably. "That's nice of you May, but it's not really the kind of problem you can help with."

"Why? I'm good at lots of things! I know I'm not that experienced, but I'll do anything you want."

Steven tried not to consider what things May was good at or willing to do for him, as it was making his stomach hurt. "That won't be necessary. I appreciate it, May, but I'm afraid this is official League business."

"Oh right; ok then," May said in a small voice. "I'll see you around then Steven."

"Goodbye May," he muttered as she put the phone down. Great, now he'd blown it with her and he was still not feeling any better at all.

It was at this point that Wallace poked his head round the door. "May I come in?"

Steven looked up, relieved to see his old friend who would hopefully take his mind off the May situation. "Yeah, of course."

"Girl troubles?" Wallace said with a knowing glint in his eye.

Steven frowned in annoyance. How on earth of all people would Wallace know about his problems. "How'd you…?"

"Well maybe it's something to do with the fact you've been acting funny for weeks now, Steve, and I've seen how you look at that championshippy girl, what's her name… April?"

"May…"

"That's the one."

"Urrggh, trust you to notice that. You don't think she's noticed do you?"

"Who knows Steven, but there's nothing to be ashamed about. If you like this girl, why not just tell her?"

"It's not that simple. She's only 16 Wall, it's just not appropriate for me to try anything."

"Eh… last time I checked that was perfectly legal, nothing to feel bad about."

Steven grimaced. "I just don't know what to say to her though. There's no way she'd be interested in someone like me though."

"Just tell her you want to fuck her brains out. It's quite simple Steven."

Steven nearly choked. "I can't say that!" he spluttered.

"Why not? It's true isn't it?"

"No! I mean… yeah it's true, but…" _oh god, oh god…_

Wallace smirked. "There you go then. I don't know why you get so stressed about this stuff. If I want to bone someone I just say 'do you have a ditto in your pocket? Cos I can see myself in your pants.' It doesn't always work, but nine times out of ten it does. You're one of the few people it didn't work on, unfortunately, because you're pretty much the sexiest man I've ever met."

Steven grimaced again. "There is absolutely no way I would use any of your disgusting lines, Wallace."

"Ah don't be a spoil-sport… I've got loads more where that came from. How about, 'I wish I was a seaking, so I could horn drill you'?"

Steven sank his head into his hands. "Why are you here, Wallace?"

"Oh, well I actually came because I wanted to return the focus band you lent me, but now I'm here I might as well help you with your girl troubles."

The grin on Wallace's face was a little alarming. Steven loved Wallace, but he could be incredibly inappropriate and rather annoying at times. "I don't have girl troubles Wallace. And I don't need your advice either."

Wallace sighed deeply. "Alright Steven, no need to get snappy with me, I'm only trying to help. Honestly. I mean, apart from the fact that I'm still hoping you'll see the error of your ways and fall for me."

Steven sighed and nodded. "Yeah I know. Sorry. I'm just a bit stressed."

"You need a shag, Steven. If you won't let me do it, then you'd better try and patch things up with little miss May."

Steven frowned. "I guess you're right…"

"As usual!" Wallace announced, his grin returning. "Right, well… I'll be getting on back to the gym then, but let me know how it goes!"

"Hmmm," Steven muttered, waving Wallace out of the room with a marked lack of enthusiasm.

_Right… well… now what?_

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><p>Firstly - this can be continued or not on the basis of whether anyone wants another chapter, its pretty much fine by me either way.<p>

Secondly - please review even if you're going to epically flame me for destroying your originshipping innocence

Thirdly - My ships: Originshipping (StevenxWallace), Hoennchampionshipping (MayxSteven), Leadershipshipping (MaxiexTabitha) - I pretty much exclusively ship those three pairings, so be warned. I muchly muchly love all three of them.


	2. Chapter 2

Yes, figliedellatempesta takes a brief break from obsessing about Logan from Fable to bring you another chapter of the StevenMay action. I know this is a short one, but I promise more!

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><p>Yes, what now indeed. Steven Stone liked to think he was too old, too intelligent and too skilled to be reduced to the kind of nervous wreck that he became whenever he tried to call May; he was the Champion for God's sake, but whenever he picked up the phone and dialled May's number, all his calm, composure and dignity went out the window and he slammed the phone back down before she had the chance to answer.<p>

It had been three days since Steven had last spoken to or seen May, and three days since that conversation with Wallace. Three days since he had resolved to man up and ask May out on a date. Three days which he had spent nervously pacing his office, picking the phone up and putting it back down again and engaging in every form of procrastination known to mankind in order to avoid his inevitable humiliation. Steven, being the Champion of Hoenn, did not like to be humiliated.

No, it was true, he did not like to be humiliated. But nor did he particularly enjoy feeling simultaneously sexually frustrated and embarrassed by his own inability to make a simple phone call. _That was it, _he resolved. It was time to risk the last shreds of his dignity and just call the damn girl.

He sat down at his desk, took a deep breath and dialled May's number yet again. The phone rang once, twice, three times… _She's not in, _he told himself, about to put the phone down when a female voice answered.

"Hello? May Maple speaking?"

Steven wiped a sweaty palm on his trousers, cleared his throat and said hello.

"How can I help you?" May asked sweetly.

"I um… I just wanted to ask you if… if… ifyou'dliketogooutsometime?"

"Sorry? I didn't quite catch that. Who is this anyway?"

"Oh. It's me, Steven."

"Oh hi. What were you asking me?"

"I wanted to ask if you'd like to… like to… gooutwithmesometime?"

"Pardon? I don't think this is a very good connection, I can't hear you very well. Could you say that again?"

"Ahem. Would you like to go out somewhere? With me? Sometime?"

"Oh. What, like a date?"

At least May wasn't there to notice how red Steven's face was becoming. "No… not a date! I mean, yes… sort of like a date. Unless you don't want to!"

May giggled. "Yes, I'd love to!"

"Oh… wow! Great!" This wasn't going half as badly as he had feared. "How about I pick you up tomorrow at seven and take you for dinner?"

"Yes, that sounds lovely."

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow then!"

"See you then," May chirped.

"Goodbye." Steven put down the phone.

It was official, then. Champion Steven Stone had a date with May Maple. Now he just had to try and avoid panicking for the next 24 hours.

As he paced his office for the hundredth time that evening, Steven began to become aware that avoiding panicking was more difficult than it looked on paper. It was just a dinner, sure. But what if he choked on his soup, or accidentally spilled food on himself or her? What if he couldn't make conversation and the night was painfully awkward? What if the whole thing was just a misunderstanding and May didn't really like him at all?

_Don't be stupid, Steven, _he muttered to himself under his breath, repeating it to himself over and over like a mantra, _don't be stupid, _as if those simple words would slow down his heartbeat and stop the uncomfortable dry sensation in his mouth.

"Miss Maple," he said aloud, proffering an imaginary chair to an imaginary May. He cleared his throat. "Miss Maple," he said again, making a rather awkward gesture as if to indicate that the imaginary May should sit down. "May I take your coat?" No, of course, she would not be wearing a coat - it was the middle of a warm summer. He cursed his own stupidity and lack of confidence. If only he'd taken a little more time to listen to Wallace; there was one thing that man didn't lack, and that was confidence.

The next day seemed to last a lifetime, with Steven snapping at everyone who had the misfortune to run into him. Come six o'clock, the Champion was stood in front of the mirror in his bedroom feeling utterly out of his depth, shirt in one hand, mobile phone in the other, deliberating over whether or not it would be an acceptable idea to call Wallace for advice.

"Yello?" Wallace answered the telephone in his usual debonair manner.

Steven sighed before replying. "Wallace, it's me," he said in a somewhat dejected tone. "I'm having dinner with May in an hour and I don't know what to wear."

"Well what have you got on at the moment?"

"Nothing. Well, pants…"

There was a momentary pause. "Now that I'd like to see."

"Can you please be serious just for one minute?"

"I was being serious."

If Steven had had a hand free, he would have facepalmed. He was, as he had intimated to Wallace, standing in his room in nothing but a pair of grey Calvin Kleins; he was rather partial to good, designer underwear. Strewn across his bed were an array of almost identical grey shirts of a variety of designer names, a few white shirts, a couple of black and grey blazers of varying cuts, a pair of Levis and a few pairs of black trousers.

"Shall I come over?" Wallace asked.

"Er… I'm sure that won't be necessary. Do you think I should go with a grey or a white shirt?"

"Grey? God Steven, this is a date, not a funeral. Can't you go with something a little more fun? Got anything turquoise?"

"Please bear in mind this is _me _we're talking about, Wallace, not you."

"Ah, point taken. Well if that's how you want to play it, go with the dark grey chinos, the light grey Abercrombie and a skinny black tie. I'd put that little ensemble with some black or grey converse high-tops, but being you, I suppose you're going to go dull and stick with brogues."

"Uh huh," Steven muttered, holding the phone against one side of his face as he struggled into a pair of chinos. He quickly pulled on the recommended shirt and went on a rapid search for a tie. A jacket wasn't particularly necessary, given the weather. He just needed a large amount of deodorant to make sure his crisp, ash coloured shirt didn't display any tell-tale sweat patches.

He surveyed the results in the mirror. The shirt complemented his tousled, silver grey hair and grey-blue eyes, not to mention subtly highlighting his broad, lightly muscled shoulders and toned abs. Well, there were upsides to all the training he did. The dark grey of the trousers made a nice contrast to the lighter shade of the shirt and the tie made it look snappy and modern without looking as if he'd tried too hard. He had to hand it to Wallace, he knew how to make a man look good.

"So… how is it?" Wallace demanded down the phone.

"Pretty good, I reckon."

"I knew it. Pretty damn fuckable, I'd say!"

"Wallace, I…"

"Yeah, yeah, I know… You'd never try and shag a girl on the first date. Mr chivalrous, aren't you."

"I hope so."

"Right, well good luck then, and if I don't get a blow-by-blow account of all the proceedings from you first thing tomorrow then I'll assume that's because you're taking Miss Maple to breakfast, if you catch my drift, in which case I'll expect one by tomorrow evening at least."

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><p>Ok, this is how this is going to work. Next chapter is going to be... the date! There are three ways this can turn out. a) sappy romance stuff. I can safely say this is not what I want to write, and anyone who has read anything I've ever written will know I don't really go for that. But nonetheless, its an option. b) toe-curling awkwardness. could be fun, I'm just saying. c) things could get a bit... citrussy, if you catch my drift. So, any indications of what anyone fancies and I'll get right on it :D New chapter will be within a week hopefully.<p> 


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